Welcome to June's edition of Inspire, and a big welcome to our new subscribers who joined us this month.

How are you today? Are you feeling happy right now?

If I asked you where you were on a scale of 1-10 of happiness, where would you rate yourself?

If you're not a 10, then read on because this month's Inspire is about being happier. I'll share some simple experiments that you can do right now, wherever you are, to increase your happiness score.



Bedtime Story - Strong Bungees
I'm generally a happy bunny, but the first few months of this year have challenged my hopping ability. To misquote Wallace from one of the Wallace and Grommit films,

"Aaah, the bounce has gone out of her bungee"

However, in the past month the bungee is back to its stretchy self, able to easily cope with the inevitable ups and downs of juggling a new baby, a 5 going on 15 year old, a growing business and a long-suffering husband! Nothing has fundamentally changed, and yet everything seems that bit easier.

Reflecting on this, I came to the conclusion that things seem easier because I have been paying more attention to being happy in each moment. Don't get me wrong, I don't claim to be a saint who grins like a Cheshire cat at every challenge (that, I think, might indicate some sort of psychological disorder).

However, practising being happy in each moment, no matter what is happening in your life right now, is a skill that builds resilience.

And resilience is a very good skill for mums whose bungees regularly get stretched to their limit!



The "Moral" of this Story - Happiness. Just Be It.

I've been trying to decide what the difference is in my own life that has made the difference. The bad news is that I'm not going to announce the invention ofa one hit happy pill that makes you glow with happiness. But the good news is that there is a foundation to being a happier bunny and it is very simple:

Make the decision to be happier.

You've heard the expression "Just do it?" coined by Nike? For happiness, it's "Just be it". Don't think you can? Then try this experiment:

Sit quietly, close your eyes if you like. Assess there you are now on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest) of happiness. This is a subjective personal scale, so don't worry about what a 10 should look like, just rate yourself instinctively.



Next, take yourself up that scale by one point.



Don't read on until you have done this!







What did you do? Perhaps you had a pleasant thought, you might have stretched, sat upright, told yourself a joke, took some deep cleansing breaths...

The point of this exercise is to demonstrate that you can influence your happiness wherever you are, without anything being different in your life. The lesson - happiness does not depend on you having something, being somewhere, or being someone different. You have within you what it takes to be happier right now!

If you are really miserable and this hasn't worked, try the same exercise but take yourself down the scale by 1 to make yourself 1 point less happy.

Again, this proves that you can affect your mood without any outside influence. And if you can go one way, you can go another.

Newton's 3rd Law of motion supports this:
To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction!



Coach Yourself - Seven Simple Steps to Instant Happiness

There are many different things you can do to become a happier person. Here are seven of the easiest ways to raising your happiness score. Remember that happiness lies in the journey, not in the destination. You don't need time to practise each of these tips, and you can do most of them can them anywhere, any time!

1. Revel in the mundane. It's fair to say that most mothers set themselves very high expectations and standards, yet life and others rarely meet these.

And most of us are influenced by the media and the messages it conveys of living a glamorous, exciting, successful life. It's no wonder we sometimes think, "Is this it?" when we are standing in the midst of kid-induced chaos, trying to juggle making the tea with "being there" for our offspring and maintain a calm demeanour.

The fact is, life isn't all "la la lovely" and perfect. Let's face it, very few mothers will avoid some element of routine, drudgery and repetitive tasks.

Now this might surprise you; instead of battling it, lower your eyes from staring into that distant sun-drenched horizon of perfection and focus on your immediate vista. Simply enjoy your ordinary day.

That's it - you have my permission not to yearn for it to be anything else other than what it is right this moment.



2. At the same time as you are enjoying your ordinary day, give yourself things to look forward to. Try this lovely planning exercise - get out your diary and write in 30 different things you can look forward to over the next month. It could be to go and buy yourself a trashy novel, 10 minutes with a bar of your favourite chocolate as your only company,



3. Do something kind and selfless for an individual or for the world today. Loads of ideas on We are What We Do (http://www.wearewhatwedo.org)



4. Get your body moving and get those endorphins (happy hormones) flowing through you.

Dance with your kids, run up and down the stairs, do some stair jumps, bust your toddler's trampoline by bouncing up and down on it.

Now sing a corny pop song out of tune as if you are tone deaf (I don't have to pretend to do this - it comes naturally). Try "Night fever" by the Bee Gees, Black Lace's "Agadoo" or "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred.



5. Keep a gratitude diary. Long term Inspire readers will know that this is one of my favourite exercises. Give thanks for each of the little things in your life. At the end of each day, write down 30 things (yes 30!) that you are grateful for from that day. Don't write in general terms, but be specific:
"I'm grateful for the sound of the birds singing as I woke up this morning" "I'm grateful for the smile I received from xxxx" "I'm grateful for the divine taste of the first sip of my morning tea"



6. Champagne moments. This is linked to number 5. Think of the champagne moments in your life - those moments when you have experienced pure bliss. One that comes to mind for me right now was when I was on holiday with my family, aged about 15 I think. We went to a caravan park in Chichester each year and we would windsurf on the lake. There was one day that I took part in a sponsored 12 hour windsurf and on one of my stints the weather, the wind were perfect and I felt totally in control of my windsurfer. I can picture all the details now and just thinking about it fills me with a golden glow of joy.

Get the idea? Start "collecting" your own champagne moments (some of which are to be found in the mundane - refer to no. 1!). Keep a list and refer to that list when you are feeling low. Instant happiness boost!



7. Smile with your whole body, even when you don't feel like smiling. It's very difficult to feel glum if you hold your body and your head upright and imagine a smile extending from your lips into your eyes, down into your chest and your stomach and all the way down to your toes. And I just dare you to feel anything but happy!





About Coaching Mums

Coaching Mums is about living, not just plodding along. It is for women who are also mums and who want to have a fulfilling and balanced life. Coaching Mums works with mums over the phone on a one to one basis, or in workshops. Coaching Mums clients typically want to:

Identify what they really want in life - and then plan to get it Create harmonious, happy relationships with their families Start businesses that allow them to create their own work life balance Build and manage careers that nurture (rather than deplete) them Create a balanced life that works for them Dare to make their dreams into reality

If you think you are ready, willing and able to take your life up a notch, one of the Coaching Mums coaches (all highly qualified coaches and mums themselves) will partner with you to create those results much faster than you would by yourself. Oh, and you'll enjoy yourself as well!

To take your first step and book a complimentary, 40 minute no strings attached "chemistry" call, 'phone 01829 752656 (or +44 1829 752656 outside the UK) or click here.

Ready to take your life up a notch? Click here to take your first step

email: amanda.alexander@btopenworld.com

phone: +44 (0)1829 752656 or Mob: +44(0)7739 69 29 89 web: http://www.coachingmums.com