The Perfectionism Trap

The Christmas holiday can be an absolute nightmare for those of us who suffer from the scourge of Perfectionism. All those newspaper and magazine articles telling us how to serve up "the PERFECT Christmas meal..." or where to buy the perfect gift or how to throw the perfect party ...

This is a newsletter that I receive on a regular basis from Annabel Sutton - Professional Certified Coach. Details of Annabel's website can be found at the botton of the article. The Newsletter is free, and always worth a read! Suz


Over the last couple of weeks I've lost count of the number of times I've tumbled headlong into the 'Perfectionism Trap'. In the week before Christmas, for example, I was giving myself a really hard time because I hadn't written my pre-Christmas Coaching Tip. The perfectionist in me felt I should stay up into the early hours to write it - and I very nearly did - but in the end I decided that in the great scheme of things the world wouldn't end if I 'failed' to send out the Tip and so I let it go.

I know from conversations with friends, family and clients that I'm not alone and that "perfectionism" is alive and well out there. I also know how crippling it can be. As perfectionists not only do we put off doing things, but sometimes we're so paralysed by the fear of not getting it right that we shelve an idea completely.

A few years ago I was struggling with trying to write the text for my website. I kept putting the job off because I felt I had to do it 'right'. I was on the verge of giving up completely when I read a newsletter by top US marketing guru, Robert Middleton, on exactly this topic. He recalled how, many years before, he had been writing the text for his first website. It wasn't perfect - in fact, the look and feel of the site had changed several times since that first effort. The point was that he had made a start and done something. This was a revolution in thinking for me and has helped me a lot over the years. Accepting the idea that what you do actually doesn't have to be perfect first time. It can be changed. It probably WILL be changed! The important thing is to get started.

Another trick to help with perfectionism is to manage the expectations of others - as well as yourself. When I first started public speaking I thought I had to present myself as being 'perfect'. Nowadays I'm quite prepared to let my audience know my weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and I've noticed that as a result my talks have considerably more of an impact. Trying to be perfect puts pressure not only on you, but on everyone around you.

The truth is that we're NOT perfect. We will do the very best we can, at the time, and with the resources available to us.

So, at the start of the New Year, please do give yourself permission to let go of being perfect. Relax a little, cut yourself some slack. Accept that you're going to make mistakes - even allow yourself to rejoice in them!

And on that imperfect note, have a great week and I wish you a happy and peaceful 2007!

Annabel
P.S. If anyone has any tips they'd like to share on how they beat 'perfectionism' I'd love to hear them.
Annabel Sutton
Professional Certified Coach
Author of '52 Ways to Handle It - a Life Coaching Year'
Coach University Graduate, Member International Coach Federation
Tel: 44 (0)1747 871196
Email: annabel@life-designs.co.uk
Web: http://www.life-designs.co.uk